Christmas gift ideas...

I refuse to utter the phrase 'stocking stuffer', I tend to fly into a blind rage when I hear it. The other over used expression that I will outlaw during my administration is "We're Back!", I guess this is from Poltergiest or something but it is used so fucking often that it has lost all meaning. Anyway I thought these were pretty cool t-shirts. They're available here

Quote of the Day

"If money doesn't change you, you don't have enough"

50-Cent

RIP

Pat Morida aka Mr Miyagi died this weekend, he was 73. On behalf of Karate Kid fans everywhere...Big Ups to Miyagi-son. I for one will never be able to wax my car or catch flys with chop sticks without thinking of him.















Daniel: Hey, what kind of belt do you have?

Miyagi: Canvas. JC Penny. Three ninety-eight. You like? [laughs]

Daniel: No, I meant...

Miyagi: Daniel-san... karate here. [he taps his head]

Miyagi: Karate here. [he taps his heart]

Miyagi: Karate never here [points to his belt]

Miyagi: Understand?

Movie trailer...

This looks like a great movie, George Clooney is fat in it. Also check out this related link.

Not much time for blogging, got homework coming out my ass, homework that should have been done weeks ago. I'll be getting very drunk on or around the 14 of Decmeber when my last final is over. I'll be the guy at the den re-living glory days and yelling about beer prices.

Retraction!

Tara has since backed out of the condo purchase. She learned that the midget doorman was in fact an ornamental lawn jockey.

Tara signs death contract

Congrats to Tara for buying a home. The details are still a little shaky and I've put out a request for a guest column ( she owes me one already, her assignments are piling up....) so hopefully details will be forthcoming. I've been told by sources close to the administration that the condo is on 13th Ave and comes complete with wall to wall shag carpeting, a midget doorman and a fully mirrored bedroom ceiling. Cue porno music.... Owning a house (or condo) rules so good on ya kiddo.

Happy Happy Joy Joy

It's disturbing how happy this article makes me. I'll try and dig up some of the back story and illustrate the character of Conrad Black, maybe I'll make a powerpoint presentation with pictures and of course music....cue "The Emperors March"

Stupidest Poker Move Ever!

Hilarious post about the players at Party Poker during the 3 billionth hand promotion.


Subject: Did you see this about the 3 Billionth hand at party

On Monday night, the world's largest online cardroom, Party Poker, dealt its 3 billionth hand. Prior to the big hand, and as an incentive to get players to celebrate with them, Party announced a prize opportunity for the players involved in the 3 billionth hand.

The hand occurred at 10:51 EST on a $0.50/$1.00 limit hold’em 6-max table.

Everyone at the table immediately scored $10,000 for being in the 3 billionth hand. An additional $50,000 was set aside for the person who would go on to win the hand.

Humorously, 4 of the 6 players at the table folded before the river. Apparently the 10,000+:1 odds on their money to chase a miracle runner-runner were not appetizing enough to warrant a call. At least one player was clearly aware of the situation at hand proclaiming "we did it" in the chat box before the flop.
The same player folded after the flop.

Quote of the Day

"One of the biggest changes in politics in my lifetime is that the delusional is no longer marginal. It has come in from the fringe, to sit in the seat of power in the Oval Office and in Congress. For the first time in our history, ideology and theology hold a monopoly of power in Washington. Theology asserts propositions that cannot be proven true; ideologues hold stoutly to a worldview despite being contradicted by what is generally accepted as reality. When ideology and theology couple, their offspring are not always bad but they are always blind. And there is the danger: voters and politicians alike, oblivious to the facts."

John Cusack
Fri Nov 11,12:07 PM ET

Worst promotion by a celebrity ever...

I thought the guys pimping Viagra were bad, but this is the worst.

Quote of the Day

"Today there are over 100 native communities in Canada that don't have access to clean drinking water. Can you imagine what would happen if you couldn't drink the water at this university? The fucking sky would fall."

Matthew Good,
November 1, 2005 - University of Calgary, Mac Hall

Sedine Sisters

"Henrik?"... "Yes, Daniel?"... "Now is time for french kissing..."...

Ed Helms

This is freakin awesome.

Chicken Little Redux

From the NY Post....


No 'Chicken Little' - Kids see suicide





A Times Square movie theater laid an egg at a showing of "Chicken Little" last night.
Adults and kids expecting to watch Disney's G-rated animated flick at the AMC Empire 25 theater on 42nd St. were instead presented with a foreign film that opened with a young man committing suicide.

"It's pandemonium," Joshua Gallo, 30, told the Daily News as he rushed out of the theater with his 5-year-old son and 1-year-old daughter. "The kids are crying. The mothers are screaming for the managers to stop the film."

Terrified children didn't know what to do as they watched a young boy hang himself from a tree at the 8:45 p.m. screening.

After five minutes, "Andrea," a Spanish drama opening today, was turned off and "Chicken Little" was played.

Patrons got a coupon for a free movie.

Anyone else think Tyler Durden was in the projection booth?

Jarhead

Don't go see Jarhead.

Quote of the Day

I will be starting a new feature called "Quote of the Day". I won't be posting one every day necessarily, and by 'quote' I mean a 'quotation', by 'day' I mean a 24 hour period. Anyway here's today's 'quote' of the 'day'.

"From what I understand, if you cut out all the passages in the Bible where Jesus talks about the poor, about helping out the least among us, you'd have the perfect container to smuggle Rush Limbaugh's drugs in."
Al Franken

Visors or Not? *

* also titled "Why I don't Care About My Eyeballs"
** also titled
"Jeepers, Creepers Look What Happened to Stevey Y's Peepers"
The ongoing debate about players wearing visors seems to me to be one of the more absurd arguments in all sports. The issue is whether players should be forced to wear visors, protective shields that have time and again proven to save players from massive eye injuries. What makes this situation absurd is that the usual roles have been completely reversed. The NHLPA aka the union have insisted that it is the players right to decide whether or not a player wears a visor. As some of you know I have some experience with unions and the I will credit them for never taking employee safety for granted, especially when it means having meetings and making CPC pay for expensive safety equipment. If I as a supervisor see an employee not wearing steel toe boots in a steel toe area I can discipline him on the spot without fear of a union grievance. In fact if a shop steward (a union representative for those of you unaccustomed to the parlance of worker brotherhood) sees someone not wearing protective foot gear he will grieve me for not taking action. ( Bill C-45 further complicates the matter but I digress...) The players association is disregarding the players best interest by not joining with the League in making the wearing of visors mandatory.
The League obviously has a financial interest in the safety of it's players, especially it's star players. If I were Gary Bettman I would have added this clause to the last CBA; If a player declines to use a piece of equipment that would increase the level of safety, then that player will not be paid if he is injured in a manner that could have been reasonably seen to have been prevented by using said piece of equipment. (wow I'm getting good at the legalese) So to put it in laymen's terms if Jarome Iginla (I know you were expecting a wikipedia link there, but I have to mix it up) gets hit in the eye with a puck and he has chosen to not wear a visor, he sits out without pay. The owners have put up huge dollars for these players and the star players are a crucial element of a teams success, the stubbornness that leads players to abandon eye protection should not be rewarded by paying players who are recouping from preventable injuries. This would also save the teams hundreds of thousands of dollars in insurance premiums that they pay in order to protect themselves from having to pay a player who is injured during the first game and sits out the entire year. The most common reason that players give for not wearing visors is that they restrict vision and can cause bluriness. As B.Sherm is fond of saying "I call BullShit". This is the old excuse that Craig Mactavish and other old farts used to use and it holds no merit anymore. Anyone who is playing in the NHL today grew up playing with visors or cages on their helmuts, they managed in junior and they can manage now when a team is putting millions of dollars on the line.

Walmart: Evil Inc.

I just ordered a copy of Walmart: The High Cost of Low Prices and I will be having a 'screening' if any of you want to attend. I'll post some more details when I get the movie, hopefully next week. I've been ignoring my faithful reader(s) lately and will post more often, I don't want this to turn into one of those blogs that never gets updated. I caught the Matt Good show on Tuesday night, he was excellent as usual.