Sunday Poker...

Gambling on the lord's day, is there anything sweeter? Played the 20 dollar tournement at Cash today, made it about half way through. There were a couple of hands that I ddin't play well, made a big bet with 66 but it wasn't big enough got too many callers, flop came K A 7, which made my 6's as useless as (insert tit refrence here, nuns, boars, bulls etc). Later on I pushed all in with A J and was rivered by a guy with A 7, oh well, what are you going to do. Curt made the final table and finished 8th. Typical Dutchman! Next week we're playing out in De Winton, should be fun as half the people don't know the nut flush draw from drawing dead.

TV Shows on DVD...

They seem to have every freakin TV show ever created on DVD, from Knight Rider to the Golden Girls. But there are some shows that they have missed, anyone remeber this guy?

The end of an era.....

Amid all the news concerning the NHL draft and free agent signing day a small bit of Flames news may have passed you by. Colorful defenseman Mike Commodore (shown left) was traded to the Carolina Hurricanes for a third round draft pick. Commodore was an important part of the '04 Stanley Cup run and he will be missed. I guess all I can say is.... In Sutter We Trust....

A rose by any other name....

From MichaelMoore.com

THE WAR ON WHAT?
As we mentioned yesterday, the Bush administration is abandoning the "War on Terror" moniker. It's not that terrorism has been defeated and all those who hate freedom lie vanquished, just that the "war on terror" has become too loaded with bad connotations (like: we're losing it).

The best new name they've come up with for this odd war is: "a global struggle against violent extremism."

Now, that encapsulates the daunting task, the brave fight for good, and the evil enemy we face--it's just not that catchy. So we asked you, dear readers, to help Uncle Don and Uncle Dick out. Without delay, then, here are some of our favorite new names for the war formerly known as against terrorism:


A Genocide on Fear
Renewable Enemy Program
The Neo-Crusades
War for a Terrorist-Free Lifestyle
The War with Radical Reality
Cowboys & Evil-Doers
Global Struggle Against Real Baaaaaaaad Vibrations
Big Dubya's Demolition Derby (Available in Hi-Definition to most residents of Iraq)
The Hunt for the Golden Egg
All Your Base Are Belong to US!
Fixing the F*ck Up
Democracy Inspiring Peace Initiative
Islamic Bacon

Pick your favorite and head on over to the Pentagon's website to throw your suggestion in the comment box.

The "War on Terror" is in its final throes. The time has come to set aside partisan politics and support our President. Won't you support President Bush in his global struggle to rename his war?

cool site...

I think I love the action off the ice almost as much as the action on the ice. There's a pretty cool site called Hockey Rumors. I've read a few posts, one mentioned John Leclair and Eric Lindros coming to Calgary, that would be nice. Mind you I would pay Eric Lindros in Chocolate Malts and Flames Car Flags instead of cash, but John Leclair and Iggy on the same line! That would be freakin crazy. I'm betting within a day or 2 there will be a comment from one Jarrat Deschamp regarding Eric Lindros, he and Tyler cannot stand him. And while you're at it ask them about the hockey superstar known as Rob Neidermayer, they love him. Anyway I'm going to get tickets to the second home game against the Oilers, I might go B.Sherm and get into a fight with an Oiler fan just for shits and giggles.....who's with me?

Guest Column

Max’s guest column

Well, just got back from my first trip to Las Vegas. Pretty crazy city, I think I have now seen it all. Where else can you legally walk into a gift shop, buy a big boy can of beer, crack it open on the street and minutes later cruise through an Armani store with it, all while not getting a second look from anyone?? Another interesting fact was that it tied the all time record high temperature one day while we were there. ALL TIME!! A cool 117F, which is a wee bit shy of 50C. To those who say; “ooh, but it’s a dry heat”, all I can say is F*#% You, stick your head in an oven and let me know how the heat is!! I am not exaggerating when I say the only comparable feeling I have experienced is when you open the door to an oven and you get that blast of hot air in your face. It’s like that all day though!



Anyways, back to the debauchery that is Vegas. Essentially everything in Vegas is much like American society: oversized - big hotels, big cars, big people, big prices, big burgers…etc. It was a quiet week when we were there so no real action in any of the high roller tables. However, Wes you’d have loved it, tons of Texas Hold’em rooms and all were packed. I saw some pretty accommodating spouses as well on a few occasions. The guy would be playing poker in one of the rooms and the wife would be sitting next to him at the table reading a book. I’m sure Sadie could be talked into that!



Other than that, the week consisted of basically walking around checking out all the hotels, which are very impressive, chillin’ by the pool, me becoming a degenerate gambler within minutes of entering the casino, and observing the mannerisms of those exposed to 24 hour drinking, smoking, gambling, prostitution, buffets, and inhuman heat. That is my Vegas trip in a nutshell. I have provided the following images, which I feel best illustrate this town. For Wesincalgary, I'm Max Chan.

The Gift for the Geek in your Life....

The Napoleon Dynamite Action Figure.
Yessss!

Alright Ladies....

Thats one small step for feminism....

http://www.magic-cone.com/animation1.htm

Right Wing Pundetry....

Is that even a word? Anyway I thought I would post some of my favorite rantings from the American right. First up, the lovable Bill O'Reilly.

You want to have two guys making out in front of your 4-year-old? It's OK with them. A guy smoking a joint, blowing the smoke into your little kid's face? OK with them. And I'm not exaggerating here. This is exactly what the secular movement stands for.
Bill O'Reilly

So who turns out for the screening of this movie Fahrenheit 9/11 last night? You ready? Now, here are the celebrities that turn out. Here are the people who would turn out to see Josef Goebbels convince you that Poland invaded the Third Reich. It's the same thing, by the way. Propaganda is propaganda.
Bill O'Reilly

And another favorite, Blond Babbler extrodinaire... Ann Coulter

When contemplating college liberals, you really regret once again that John Walker is not getting the death penalty. We need to execute people like John Walker in order to physically intimidate liberals, by making them realize that they can be killed, too. Otherwise, they will turn out to be outright traitors.
Ann Coulter

If you don't hate Clinton and the people who labored to keep him in office, you don't love your country."
George, July 1999

"I think [women] should be armed but should not [be allowed to] vote. No, they all have to give up their vote, not just, you know, the lady clapping and me. The problem with women voting -- and your Communists will back me up on this -- is that, you know, women have no capacity to understand how money is earned. They have a lot of ideas on how to spend it. And when they take these polls, it's always more money on education, more money on child care, more money on day care."
Politically Incorrect, Feb. 26, 2001

"People like you caused us to lose the war." (to a disabled Vietnam Veteran)
MSNBC

Ralph embraces C-38

Ralph is really embracing the new Same-Sex marriage bill. Way to get into the spirit Ralphy Boy!

point that thing somewhere else!

Forgotten Moments

Pics from Victoria....

This is what you're missing by not checking Dave's picture site...




"I said Crown and Coke! This is Jim Beam!" "I'm a Barbie Girl, in a Barbie World..."

A new Frontier...

At last a new space race appears to be developing...

This news story sent in by a reader is reminiscent of when the Soviets and the Americans were trying to see who could kill the first dog in 'outer space'. What an age of wonders we live in....


http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/asia-pacific/4690651.stm

Food at the G.O.S.E.

Greatest Outdoor Show on Earth, yeah I'm sure you've heard that one before. While some people go to the Stampede for the rides, some people go for the music, some go to hook up a lot of people go to the Stampede for the food. This strikes me as rather odd, now I will admit a penchant for 'those little donuts' the rest of the food would be shunned by society in any setting outside of the grounds. But for some reason people are willing to pay a 12 dollar admission fee to enter what is essentially a huge parking lot and pay exorbitant sums to eat this grub. Go figure! While I was at the Stampede this year I noticed that while there was various meat products on sticks (well meat is being generous, 'protein mass' on a stick might describe a corn dog more adequately) there was candy on a stick, frozen liquids on sticks and I think I saw stick on a stick what I noticed was missing was 'vegetable preserved in garlic saturated liquid brine' on a stick. But then I walked out of the casino and alas.....

Belt Buckle to Head size ratio....

I think there is some kind of correlation between a cowboys head size and his belt buckle size. Or maybe it's a show of manliness, kind of like wearing a speedo thong at the beach. But anyways Stampede is over for another year so large garish signaling devices like this can be out away for another year...

a new feature column...

I am delighted to be able to offer my readers a new feature on wesincalgary, an advice column which will appear whenever The Local Tough Guy writes one. If any of you have any questions for Local Tough Guy, email me with them and I will pass them along.

ASK THE LOCAL TOUGH GUY
Dear Local tough guy,
My boyfriend and I recently had a dispute regarding the delegation of chores around the house. It seems as though he erroneously expects me to do the vacuuming despite the fact I work opposite shifts and I do most of the laundry and ironing. I know he loves me dearly and isn’t doing this on purpose, yet I think he needs to be more accepting of the fact that this would mean a lot to me. How do I get my message through?

Sincerely,
Tina in Calgary

Dear Tina,
The Me262 may have appeared to be a trump card in the Nazi’s air arsenal, but make no mistake, despite it’s sleek lines and low bypass ramjet engines, it’s inherent lack of fuel economy in tandem with it’s undeveloped handling characteristics made it a less than formidable foe for the likes of the P-51 Mustang. For distance dog fighting or picking a clumsy Lancaster or B-29 out of the air, sure it is like hunting turtles with a drill.However, if you were planning to get close in against a more agile foe, I wouldn’t recommend buying any green bananas.

Dear Local tough guy,
The peonies that I planted a few years back are not thriving very well this year despite the liberal rainfall. I suspect it might be because we recently planted a small apple tree which is blocking the sunlight, but my boyfriend thinks it is on account of increased soil salinity or maybe even when our cat Leon goes to the bathroom in the garden. Any suggestions?
Yours Truly,
L.M.

Dear L.M.,
This is a perennially thorny issue-is the 1968 Nova SS really faster than the 1970 Dodge Superbird? True, with it’s 440 hp hemi and 4:3:1 transmission (Tall gears!) the ‘bird will probably prevail over a longer distance. However the ol’ SS with it’s 396 hp engine,when the green flag drops, the bullshit stops and you’d better hope you’re on the quarter mile or less, or Dodge boy will have your pink slip, and you’ll be taking the loser-cruiser to work

wierd lights....

Anyone care to venture what the hell the wierd light is? It looks like it's going into Tyler's ear!

pics

What the hell is happening in this picture? Jarret? Tyler? Care to explain?

What Max does at work...

Max (shown left) recieves these type of emails everyday, while most of us delete them without a second thought Max writes back and then he forwards them to me.....and sometimes I write back to the guy....


Citibank House, 336 Strand,
London WC2R 1HB, United
>Kingdon, London.
>REPLY TO:jimansah@box.az
I sincerely write to seek your co-operation and trust to enable my
colleagues and I carry out an urgent business opportunity in my
department. I work with the City Bank London, currently I am the senior
manager of bills and exchange at the foreign remittance department of my
bank. I was the account officer to one Mr.William.E.Caswell who died along
with his family on the 11th of September 2003 in an American Airline
Flight 77 plane crash at Pentagon All 141 passengers on board were feared
dead. He left in his domiciliary account the total sum of fifty Million
four hundred thousand united States Dollars[$50,4M].Since the management
got the information of his death we have been expecting any of his
relation or his next of kin to come up and claim his money.

The need for a foreigner as next of kin in this project is occasioned by
the fact that the customer Mr.William.E.Caswell was a foreigner and a
London cannot stand as his next of kin or heir. We have agreed that 30% of
the Fund would be for you as foreign partner; thereafter my colleague and
I will visit your country for disbursement according to the percentages
indicated.To enable the immediate transfer of the fund into your nominated
account, you will first apply to the bank as the next of kin of the
deceased, indicating your bank account number and location wherein the
money will be remitted.Upon receipt of your acknowledgement indicating
your interest,I will send to you the text of the application that you will
send to the City Bank authority for an approval to submit your claims.Send
your reply through my direct and private email
address(jimansah@box.az)indicate your direct Fax and telephone numbers for
effective communication that this transaction needs. Do not reply through
the City bank email address because it belongs to the senior staffs for
public use.

Please note that you are not to appear in person, as every thing regarding
this project will be strictly on documentations and every banking
documents needed for this transaction will be taken care of by myself.
Looking forward to hearing from you.
Yours Faithfully
JIM ANSAH


Max writes back....


Jim, you have got to be the dumbest piece of excrement alive! For god's
sake at least put some effort into getting the goddamn facts straight!!
Case in Point #1
- It's Citibank, not City Bank, you dumbass, I work at a bank for crying
out loud, you think I wouldn't notice this!?

Case in Point #2
- You must be the only person on this ENTIRE FUCKING earth that does not
know the year of the September 11th tragedy! It's 2001 not 2003 you stupid
moron!

Case in Point #3
- You assume because of my name I'm a "foreigner" you racist bitch! I was
born in the UK you ignorant fool!

Write me back when you figure out your head from your asshole.

And then I chime in....

Dear Friend,

I am big vice president at large Canada Corporation. I have found a way
to embezzle monies out of pension funds that would be going to widows. I
just need your credit card number and pictures of your wife with no
clothing on and I can transfer some of the monies to you. I have already
received the cooperation of the foreigner Max Chan. He is giving me all
his information based on an unsolicited email riddled with errors and
inconsistencies. He is great man in my eyes. Please respond quickly, the
widows are dying rather quickly.

Vice President Rahim Jaffer
Large Canada Corporation Inc.
(403) 555-1234

Pics

Does anyone remember this?

a few more

"This guy.............This is the guy...."

A few party pics...

I seriously don't remember most of these....

Weird shit...

Don't ask where I dug this up but you can google it to confirm. White house Press Secretary Scott McClellan (shown left) has some embarrassing skeletons in his closet, (I'm not referring to the rumors that he is gay!) and this skeleton is trying to get out! Apparently Scott's dad has written a book entitled Blood, Money and Power: How LBJ Killed JFK and he doesn't mean killed in figurative sense, he means LBJ arranged for the assassination of the president. I won't go into all the details but apparently Kennedy was thinking of booting LBJ from the ticket in 64, to possibly replaced by RFK, who was despised inside Washington circles. Anyway apparently this picture entitled "Don't forget the Wink" is proof of something going on. The guy winking is Congressman Albert Thomas. LBJ is standing beside Jackie looking at the winker.

More Hockey Talk....

The most interesting hockey question of the summer will now be 'who gets Sidney Crosby?' According to TSN.ca their will be a slightly weighted draft lottery to determine the order of picks. Teams like the Avalanche and Toronto will only receive 1 ball, teams like Calgary and Los Angles will receive 2 while the power houses of Buffalo and Columbus will receive 3 balls. Now what are balls you ask? It's actually as simple as it sounds, all the balls will be thrown into a big hopper a la Kingo Bingo and a ball will be drawn, that team gets first pick. It will be exciting as hell to see who gets first pick, imagine Sidney Crosby and Jarome Iginla playing on the same line....un real. Anyway I'll be watching this closely, perhaps the rise of the Flames will continue and we'll buck the curse of the Ducks and the Hurricanes.

PS If the freakin Rangers or god forbid TO get Crosby, put me on suicide watch...

NHL and NHLPA pull their heads out of Asses!

Breaking News! A tentative deal has been reached by the NHL and the PA, and it only needs to be ratified by simple majorities on each side to be implemented. Now everyone is assuming it will be ratified, simply due to the fact that union leadership has recommended it. The question is why didn't they accept a better deal in February that would have saved the season? There are players coming out of the woodwork to critics union leadership now that it appears that B. Goodenow will be told not to let the door hit him in the ass on his way out. Legace and Avery have been the most quoted but there have been others. They are asking very legitimate questions, if the new deal has a salary cap then why did we lose an entire season over the mantra "salary cap over my dead body"? I'm 99 percent sure that this deal could have made in September 2004, actually the players would have gotten a better deal in September, the league would have made more concessions to save the season.

Details are still sketchy but all the Player claims of 'we're doing this for future generations of players' seems to be total horse shit. This deal has sold out the rookies, with an $850,000 cap and bonuses that are very difficult to achieve the players dumped on the rookie class of 04-05 and 05-06 which is why Bob Goodenow will be leaving shortly. Older players hold Bob in a very high regard due to this 94 strike deal that was a sweetheart of a deal for the players, but those players are disappearing fast. Within a couple of years there will be virtually no one around from that time and Bob will simply be the man who locked rookies into a low cap and lost an entire season.

There are few things in life that cannot be expressed by a good poker analogy. Bob and the players were sitting on mid-range suited connectors, maybe a 9-10 of spades. What they soon realized was that there attempts to re-raise themselves into winning the pot were not going to work this time. The owners held a high pair and were in a mood to gamble, they were willing to call every bet with a smile on their faces. Indeed a month ago Gary threatened to 'move all-in' against the players when he said if a deal was not done 'soon' (by mid-July) then the owners would cancel the entire next season. The damage was done so why not let it all hang out? No doubt about it, the league won this war. But the scorched earth policy the union perused has left the league with few spoils and outside of Canada the pickings will be slim for quite some time.

PS Before we start saying things like "I'll never watch hockey again".....remember this.

At last another post...

Hello all, I will be posting some keg party pics here shortly so check back often, especially since that may have been the last one....Don't get me wrong, it was fun but I think the partying needs to head in a different direction, perhaps margiritas in kiddie pools or something along those lines. I'm bored at work as usual so I'll just post a couple of funny links then check out.

www.ironictimes.com awesome site.

http://www.chilloutzone.de/files/05062803.html I'll leave the description on this one up to you.

http://wesincalgary.buzznet.com This is where I will be posting some of the pictures, let me know which format you prefer, Blog or Buzz. The choice is yours.